


March Madness

by DixieDale



Category: Clan O'Donnell - Fandom, Garrison's Gorillas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:06:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22910695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DixieDale/pseuds/DixieDale
Summary: First, Lieutenant Garrison picked up the phone and discovered they were due for a housing inspection.  Then the mail brought the unwelcome news that they'd be having strangers spending part of the month at the Mansion.  One thing was for certain, that 'Mischief Month' theme for March had to be changed to something less likely to get them thrown out on their ear or sent to the stockade.  Just, how to get the guys to fall in line?
Comments: 4
Kudos: 2





	March Madness

It was coming up on the end of February, and Craig Garrison was already uneasy about 'March is Mischief Month', had been thinking of ways to short-circuit the idea. 

After all, a whole month of 'Mischief'?? With HIS guys??! Talk about a redundancy! 

'Mischief' was their specialty at ANY time, even when the 'Theme of the Month' was something else. Heaven help them all if they really doubled down and focused on just Mischief alone, giving it their entire focus! And with all the complications that had just hit his desk, he just couldn't see that being a good thing.

Just, change it to what? What would be harmless enough not to pile on any MORE complications, but still something satisfying enough to make the guys go along? The fact that he was focusing on THAT, instead of solely what that morning phone call and the unexpected letter that came in the mail might mean for them, that showed just how uneasy he was about what his guys might get up to. 

He broached the subject during the evening meal that Sergeant Major had labored over, trying for a casual tone. He wasn't sure he was going to be any more successful at that than Gil Rawlins had been in trying to turn those ration packages and pantry scrapings into something appetizing, but he figured he had to try. Carefully chewing something that was either petrified Spam or a fossilized beet, he began the con.

"It seems kind of pointless, boring even, to specify one month as 'Mischief Month'. A cop-out, really. Well, in a way, isn't EVERY month pretty well 'Mischief Month' for you guys? You still manage to get up to more mischief than any other four guys I've ever known, even when you have a different 'theme', and - - Actor? I can't tell you just how MUCH I appreciate your suggesting that Theme of the Month idea to them in the first place."

The sarcasm fairly dripped from those words, and the dry look he was giving their con man didn't point to all that much 'appreciation'.

'Unworthy of their talents' - THAT was the argument Garrison was using to convince them that another change was in order to that 'Theme of the Month' Actor had so ingeniously come up with early on to abate their between-missions boredom? Well, it MIGHT work.

None of them had a long attention span, not that Garrison had ever noticed. None of them handled boredom well, and it set in amazingly fast, far quicker than you'd have thought. Perhaps the intensity of the missions they were being sent on had something to do with that, the sharp contrast just being too much to absorb easily when they were back on the Mansion grounds. There were actually scientific research papers that addressed that, later on, but Garrison really didn't need their input; he'd had the real deal, first hand knowledge, so to speak.

Now, however, Lieutenant Craig Garrison had to do something! He'd been considering it even before he got that phone call, but now, knowing the department responsible for housing them at the Mansion would be showing up sometime during the month for a detailed inspection made him view it more urgently. From past experience, the inspectors tended NOT to have a sense of humor, and only a highly-developed sense of humor would get them safely through another inspection. They'd lucked out with the last one, but that wasn't likely to happen again.

Then, opening the mail to find that they would be 'hosting' that group of - well, he didn't quite know what they WERE a group of, though the letter had called them researchers, but what they were supposedly researching was left only to his imagination.

He'd sorted through the usual military formalities of the communication before he finally got to the crux of the matter.

"It has been decided that you will temporarily be sharing your base of operations with several members of Dr. Lloyd Kerrington's research group. The six individuals, including Dr. Kerrington, will be arriving on the second of the month, and will remain for at least two weeks, until they achieve their objective, or determine the objective cannot be met during the time allotted. 

"Please have suitable quarters prepared in Ballantine House, two sleeping rooms for double accommodation, two for individual use. The group will also require a private area for discussion and research, free access to the library, etc. In speaking with the Special Housing division, they have informed us that should not be a problem, that the facility in which you are lodged has more than adequate space. 

"It is our understanding that you and your team may not be present during part of the time, due to your other responsibilities, but while you are there, we expect total and complete cooperation with the individuals who will be residing there temporarily. Whatever they need, we expect you to provide, without argument or undue delay."

There was more, but it was all in the same vein - do what you're told and don't argue. Well, except for that last section -

"You will, of course, convey strict instructions to the members of your team and your subordinates as to the conduct required. We will be receiving a status report from Dr. Kerrington at the conclusion of his stay, along with any interim reports he feels are needed. We trust there will be no negative items he will feel obliged to convey."

"Are they totally out of their minds??!" Lieutenant Craig Garrison growled as he reached for the telephone to reach this Colonel Armstrong who had sent the letter. Yes, it seemed they WERE, because there was no give in Armstrong's voice or his decision. In fact, there was a note of desperation in the Colonel's entire tone that Garrison couldn't really account for, but didn't like. Obviously Colonel Armstrong considered this Dr. Kerrington and his group trouble of some sort, and had selected Garrison as the lucky one to dump the unnamed trouble on.

A short time later, he was conveying the information to a shocked and dismayed Sergeant Major Gil Rawlins.

"I 'ave to agree, Lieutenant. Bloody fool idea! Gonna take a lot to get the place ready for an inspection in the first place, much less getting another four bedrooms up and running! And that means leaving the doors unlatched between 'ere and the private section, and then -". 

Rawlins hesitated to mention that one room, the one they'd determined to be haunted, if that was the best word for the continued residence by the Ballantine twins. While one couldn't help but feel some sympathy for the woefully abused and doomed pair, that sympathy was matched with the knowledge that, whatever the reason, the twins were malicious and murderous predators who were quite willing and quite capable of preying on anyone coming within their reach.

Garrison's eyes met Rawlins', and he nodded. 

"Yes, whatever it takes to block that room off. Not just the lock and that 'Beware of Ghosts!' sign the guys put up! I don't want the visitors to have ANY way of getting in there, the inspectors bedamned!"

Soon the entire contingent of guards, except for the one manning the gate, were being chivied into moving this, switching out that, and getting rooms ready. Garrison's men had sat back, watching, and had laughed derisively at the sight, til Gil caught them at it, and next thing you know, they were working right along side the soldiers, sweating up a storm.

"Seems the obstacle course might look right good if we 'ave to keep this up much longer," Goniff had complained as he and Chief shifted yet another dismantled bedframe and mattress from one room to another.

"You think maybe once we get these all set up, HQ will decide it's okay for us to actually have bedrooms with real beds, not just the Dorm and our cots? Even if two of us end up sharing a room?" Casino wondered as he moved back to let them by. 

For his part, he was piling bedding in a huge heap, in preparation to getting it down to the washerwoman, Mrs. Wilson, who'd been forewarned by an urgent telephone call that they had a huge and quite urgent shipment being delivered to her. 

"I can imagine nothing less likely, Casino," Actor said dryly, "and pin no hopes on such an outcome. For my part, I would have preferred they had given us SOME idea of the nature and interests of our visitors. I had thought to curry favor by providing some appropriate reading material in their rooms, but without an idea of their interests, that would be chancy at best." 

As for sharing a room, although he didn't mention it, that was not to his liking. It was one thing to share the dorm, where there were four of them together and they, well, they balanced each others' personalities somewhat. But a bedroom? Ah, that should be a private thing, and he couldn't see him sharing with ANY of his three team mates in any degree of mutual comfort. 

"More likely to please them by 'eading over to see w'at we could leave in their rooms as a 'Welcome to the Mansion' snack, Actor. 'Gaida might 'ave some notions there; might even 'ave something in the pantry all set to go," Goniff offered, and while that was pretty typical of what Goniff would think of, food being his usual preoccupation, Garrison thought that might actually be a pretty good idea. 

Though, when the guys all eagerly volunteered to be the one to make the trip, he sternly ordered them back to work and went himself. He had a feeling the Sergeant Major had plans for him as well, and decided to make himself scarce for awhile.

"I would ask if you were joking, but somehow I don't think you are," Meghada said with a sympathetic look. "So, a housing inspection. Are you still going with the 'worm wasp' or 'wood wasp' or whatever, to explain the knife marks in the paneling? Is there a comparable 'stone wasp' to account for the bullet holes and other marring in the statuary outside? And is this the first full inspection since Goniff painted that mural on the Common Room ceiling? Better have smelling salts ready for when they get a good look at that masterpiece!"

Yes, she DID consider it a masterpiece, if not of the usual sort. She totally adored that mural, on a variety of levels, all the love and caring and enthusiasm (if not necessarily talent) that Goniff had poured into the effort. She knew Chief found great pleasure in it as well, if not for exactly the reasons Goniff had in mind, but most others found it shocking in the extreme! Actor, for one, had now formed the firm habit of NOT looking upward when he was in the room! Well, it WAS rather bright, among its other attributes. Yes, a total delight, in all regards!

Garrison snorted, "yes, for the first. We'll put the statuary down to residual damage from that bombing. 

"For the ceiling? No, luckily we already went through that; we lucked out there. THAT inspector confided to me that he thought it was hilarious, noted specifically in his report that 'the crumbling plaster on the ceiling in one room was generously repaired and artfully painted by one of the residents in a delightfully Primitive representation of nature. I found his efforts to be quite effective in not only mitigating any further decay, but with the secondary result of improving morale during these somber times. I conveyed to Lieutenant Garrison my complete and utter satisfaction with the final result.' 

"Even sent me a copy of the report to point to if anyone else gives us grief. Well, he WAS annoyed that they'd put him to inspecting houses when he really wanted to be in the thick of things; his request for transfer to a fighting unit had just come through, so it was his last act of defiance before he went off."

Meghada laughed. "So, what can I do to help? I assume that's why you're here. Or are you just hiding from Sergeant Major? I know he's got to be tearing his hair out over all the commotion." 

A boyish, rather sheepish grin greeted that statement. "A little of both, actually. Yes, Gil was casting dire looks in my direction, but in all honesty, Goniff WAS suggesting a 'Welcome' basket of snacks in each of the rooms, two doubles, two singles, while Actor was bemoaning the lack of knowledge as to proper bedside reading material. Casino and Chief haven't weighed in yet. All in all, I felt escape, and perhaps calling in your help, was my best option."

"Well, the first I can help with, certainly. Possibly the second as well. At least you should be sure that leather bound inventory of the books and portfolios in the library is made available to whoever is in charge. They should appreciate that. Let me check and see if I can get any information from my own sources about this group, perhaps point Actor in the right direction. Just do NOT let Casino 'help' with selecting the reading material. You really WILL need the smelling salts if that happens. 'Bambi and Her Barnyard Friends', indeed!"

Garrison looked appalled that she'd heard about that, and she snorted in amusement. 

"You don't really think a story THAT good could be kept quiet, do you?" she laughed. "Though you probably shouldn't let Goniff 'help' either; Kevin and my sisters inform me HIS selections can be rather outré as well!" and Garrison ruefully nodded, remembering that selection of books loaned to Richards during the major's forced 'vacation'.

She took another sip of her coffee, glanced at the calendar on the wall and frowned, thinking of all the circles within circles this situation brought to mind.

"What about security for your files and maps and such? Especially if you and the guys are off somewhere? And, oh good grief! What about the Ballantine twins??

"And, Craig, what are you going to do about the guys and their 'Theme of the Month'? Isn't March 'Mischief Month'? Can you convince them to hold off? You might not get another inspector with a sense of humor; I imagine that one was a rare thing. 

"I remember last year, both 'Mischief Month' and the 'Merry Month of May-hem' - doors having their hinges removed so they toppled when you tried the handle - those windows that slid open when you didn't even touch them, and others that wouldn't open no matter how much you tried, and all the rest. SOOO much else! If an inspector had walked in on all that, there would have been hell to pay! And with outsiders in residence? Let one of them walk into one of the traps the guys like to set for each other when they really get wound up?? Aeiii!"

Garrison nodded in rueful agreement. "I'm hoping the 'Off Limits' signs Sergeant Major is posting will keep their collective noses out of the operational side of it; I've told him the map room should be locked and have a twenty-four hour guard. I'll move what I need to out of my office into there if we get called out. 

"And I'm not sure about the twins and THEIR room. I'm not willing to trust in just a locked door there; I've told Gil to come up with something foolproof, but I guess it depends on any 'fools' involved whether it will work. And I'm a little uncomfortable about setting a guard there; I'm not sure the twins can't 'reach' through that door and draw anyone that close inside!"

"I might be able to help with that, Craig, or at least my sister Caeide probably could. She's a true wonder with wardings. I can do some, but not at her level. I'll call and ask her if she'll fly down tomorrow and work her magic; I know Ian's up there now, so it wouldn't be all that difficult to arrange. 

"The twins' room, certainly, perhaps even something on the map room - different levels, of course. For the twins, more like the equivalent of a circular six-foot thick stone wall, reaching to below the basements and a goodly bit higher than the house, one of the 'nothing in, nothing out' ones; while a simple 'best not' would work well enough for the map room, just to back up that guard. I could even do that last one, well enough. 

"And you know, anything you want to transfer down here, I'll make space. I'm not scheduled to be out and about; though, I have to admit, that can change with a phone call, as you well know."

Garrison nodded his thanks and accepted her offer, well, ALL of her offers. There was a time when he'd have laughed at the idea of wardings or anything similar. No more. He took another sip of coffee, and went on to move the subject to that blasted 'Theme of the Month'.

"As for the last, I think I have the guys half-way convinced that it would be 'unimaginative', even unworthy of their talents, to have a particular month dedicated to just mischief, since they work plenty of that into the other months along with whatever theme that month might have. But - what I do suggest in its place? And I DO want to be the one suggesting! Heaven knows what they'll come up with on their own! I don't want to be looking back and wishing to hell I'd just let well enough alone!"

She considered carefully, what she knew about his men, what she knew from experience with her own family. Well, she DID have a lifetime of observing her brothers.

"Something non-physical, perhaps that would be best. You know how they can get when their enthusiasm takes over. Word games of some sort? What would tempt them, amuse them and get them focused? Not Actor, perhaps, though he's not really the one you have to worry about so much, but the others. Hmmmm. What did my brothers like in that line when they were boys?"

Garrison raised a skeptical brow.

"Boys?" That seemed a real stretch. None of them, not even Chief, the youngest, met THAT qualification, and Actor was probably closer to forty than thirty-five, the other two closer to Actor in age than to Chief. In fact, except for Chief, all of his team were older than Garrison himself.

Meghada grinned in acknowledgement of the disparity, but reminded him, "well, you know the guys DO have a rather sophomoric sense of humor sometimes, rather like twelve year old boys. You have only to look at that list of monthly themes to realize that, or the nonsense they can get up to. 

"So, you already have a month dedicated to puns, you poor soul. I DID hate it when my brothers went through that phase! Michael was ten, I believe, that first time, but even with me being so much younger, I'd still disappear to where I couldn't hear what he would be chortling about. And when Patrick, and then Ian joined in, I'd find just about any excuse to be somewhere else! 

"Ah, well. Story telling is already taken care of in August. 'Story telling' of the other sort handled by 'Outrageous Lies October'. Music - well, that's September, and you probably don't want your guests regaled with some of the bawdy offerings Casino, probably Goniff too, could offer up."

She thought and then suggested what might be an alternative.

"What about limericks? Either ones they've heard, or found, or made up themselves? Yes, some, MANY, of those are likely to be bawdy, too, but at least they are short, just a few lines, not like listening to fourteen or more verses of 'The Whores of San Pedro', like I found myself doing one extremely painful night with Casino and Goniff and Old Howie! Limericks just might be the thing. I remember my brothers would almost roll on the floor with some of the ones they found, never mind the ones they created themselves. 

"The concept is simple enough - just the five lines, two rhymes in the form of a-a-b-b-a, with the third and fourth lines being the shorter. Recite a few as examples. 

"I'm sure you can count on Actor to give a learned dissertation on the variations - you know, the ones where the last word of the first sentence is the same as the last word of the last sentence, versus the ones where those words only rhyme. Even those where that last word on purpose does NOT rhyme, for the more 'fragile' of listeners who pretend to look askance at the mere notion of punning. I'm sure he would be happy to do so."

They both laughed, thinking of the ever-so-sophisticated Italian lowering himself to lecture on limericks rather than classical literature.

"Although I've heard some of the great writers were partial to the limerick, as well as to punning, you know. So perhaps Actor MIGHT find it appealing. Stranger things have happened, surely."

"Limericks," Garrison considered. "Well, it's possible. Would you happen to remember -" and sat back to hear a few examples Meghada pulled out of her memory. Yes, that just might work! In fact, that one? He intended to use it as his introduction to the whole idea, even if it was a variant on the established pattern; after all, it just described the whole thing so well!

Now, just how did it go? Oh, yes - 'The Limerick's an art form, complex -'

They were a serious lot that arrived. Six men, not so young anymore, two of them very much not so young anymore, even to where they required assistance making it up that staircase to the living quarters above. Shapeless suits, sporting pipes with varying qualities of tobacco, two with thick glasses, two others obviously myopic but seemingly preferring to view the world that way, eschewing any artificial clarifying of their vision. They kept to themselves, pretty much, seemingly quite wary of the four men, the officers, the team members, and the soldiers. Even Actor's refined overtures made them skittish.

Well, that suited Garrison to a tee; the less interaction between two such dissimilar groups the better, as far as he was concerned. Hopefully, that would mean no nasty little commentaries being included in those periodic reports.

When he got the call for the team to head out on a mission, he explained carefully to Dr. Kerrington that certain areas were strictly off-limits, any locked doors were to remain that way, and that, although they were guests, the Sergeant Major was the one in charge in Garrison's absence. 

Thankfully, Dr. Kerrington seemed not to take that wrong, just nodded absently, and gave a distracted, "yes, yes, of course, Lieutenant Garrison. We haven't time to be exploring anyway; quite involved in a new direction our research is heading, you know."

Garrison still didn't have a clue as to the subject of that research, and what little he'd heard was coached in various odd vernaculars with which he was unfamiliar. Even Actor had shrugged, and admitted, "I have no clue, Craig. I can hear their voices, but not their actual words, you see. You would almost think they were talking nonsense, with the odd cadence to their words and sentences. It seems familiar, and yet not, somehow. It is all most puzzling, I must admit."

A quick word of caution to Sergeant Major Rawlins, and they were out and gone, to France this time. Other than the plane almost getting struck by lightning, everything went smoothly for once, although Casino had snorted and spoke for everyone with, "when you get thinking of 'almost' getting hit by lighting as the upside? You gotta figure we're in the wrong business!"

For Garrison, the job was a simple one, the con easy to put into play. No one got more than a few bruises, mostly physical, at least for the guys. But for Garrison, a lot of his bruising was mental.

Well, how could it be any different, when almost every down moment was filled with, not the usual wild stories about women and carousing, stories he'd learned to let filter past his mind and not intrude on its workings, but 'what rhymes with . . .', and 'are you sure you gotta have five lines, Warden? Wouldn't four do just as good?'. 

He suffered through repetitions of 'Mable's all wrapped up in sable', and that overly-cautious young lady from Rood, that cringe-worthy 'case of consumption', and others he'd just as soon forget, but doubted he could. Not to mention Actor giving a twenty minute lecture on the variations that were permissible, along with those occasionally heard but NOT acceptable by any 'serious-minded literary individual'. 

"For those we are composing ourselves, of course, we must abide by generally accepted convention as best we are able. What has already been written, unfortunately, we have no power of editing."

That Garrison just had to respond to, in spite of how incongruous the whole conversation seemed to be, considering they were pinned down by a very determined group of German soldiers wielding automatic weapons.

"Serious-minded literary individual? Actor, these are limericks; I can't imagine any serious-minded . . ."

He broke off his protest when the bullets once again started flying and the team pulled their minds back to more serious things. Well, for the most part, though much to his dismay, he heard Goniff's voice muttering absentmindedly as the Englishman reloaded his pistol and took aim at the attacking patrol, "there once was two cats from Kilkenny . . ." 

The trip back was relatively uneventful, and the guys slept for twenty-four hours straight, then fell back into their usual routine after Rawlins had reminded them "no nonsense, now; remember, we still 'ave 'ouseguests." 

Sergeant Major had been pleased to report that the visitors "never caused no 'arm, stuck to w'ere they were supposed to be, Lieutenant. Long as the men keep their distance, like before, expect we'll get through this well enough. 

"Oh, and the inspector's come and gone; I don't think this one's so eager to accept the explanation of wood wasps, but didn't seem to question the state of the statuary. Did think to get a little stroppy about Goniff's 'masterpiece' on the ceiling in the Common Room, but I pulled out that report from the OTHER inspector, and w'ile this one made some rude noises, 'e didn't put down nothing real nasty. Just made a note that 'w'ile 'e wouldn't dispute the good intent of the 'artist' or the merits of the Primitive school of art, OR the judgement of the other inspector, the job should probably be professionally re-done in the previous Classical style before the owners take possession,' which only makes sense, when you think on it."

Garrison heaved a sigh of relief, "thanks, Gil. Good work! Now, just get our visitors off and gone and maybe things can get back to normal. Whatever that means!"

Gil Rawlins noted glumly, "most likely means they'll be taking up that Theme of the Month again, Lieutenant."

Garrison nodded, "yes, but look on the bright side. They've agreed to stick to limericks for this month, and next month is just "All In All, I'd Rather Be . . . We have more than a month before we get to "The Merry Month of May-hem."

Gil didn't seem all that impressed. "Don't know whether I'm wanting that to go fast, w'at with them limericks being more wearing on the nerves than I'd 'ave thought, or slow, knowing w'at's ahead for us - sometimes, I just don't know which is worse, Lieutenant."

They shared a laugh, then Garrison settled down to check what had been happening while he'd been gone, sipping the almost-coffee Rawlins had left him, groaning over the new demands from HQ.

Meanwhile, in the Common Room upstairs, the four guys were trotting out their most recent examples of limericks - found or created. 

Professor Undonic, headed downstairs for coffee, paused at the sound of laughter and the rhymes, and his eyes grew to twice their usual myopic size, and his mouth dropped open in utter shock.

"Dr. Kerrington! Do come! These fellows! They are playing at limericks!" Professor Undonic exclaimed loudly, calling to his fellow professor in the library down the hall. 

Actor winced; they'd really forgotten the contingent of professors. He could only imagine the reaction of those learned men to such a trivial occupation. And they had PROMISED Garrison not to create any problems!

Poking his head into view, the usually somber Professor Undonic exclaimed with glee, "oh, how jolly! We do SO love limericks! Such an overlooked art form, don't you know? And puns! And riddles! Word-crossing puzzles, anagrams, spoonerisms. Cockney rhyming slang. Oh, all such word play! Do let us join in, won't you??!" 

Dr. Kerrington was beaming with delight as he in turn bustled through the doorway close on the heels of Professor Undonic, the four men sitting there looking at the two professors, then at each other, in utter bewilderment. No, this was NOT what they'd have expected!

"Limericks? How utterly delightful! Professor Undonic, do go and fetch the others, will you? They will be thrilled!" Dr. Kerrington told the dumbstruck four at the round table. "Now, you simply MUST let us join in! And allow us to make notes, of course! How remarkable to find others who share our enthusiasm! SO unexpected, you know!"

Actor raised a doubtful brow, this all seeming most unlikely to him, but he did the polite thing. 

"Of course, Dr. Kerrington, but if you are serious, I think the library would be better suited. The chairs are more comfortable, and the reference books are there, should we need to consult them."

And he gathered his three incredulous team mates and ushered them down the hall. {"Craig is never going to believe this!"}

Soon they were all settled, the visitors and the four men from Garrison's team. Dr. Kerrington was still enthusing.

"I'm ever so glad Armstrong suggested we do our little semi-annual project here instead of at his house as we have done in the past. It shows a far more helpful and understanding side to my brother-in-law than we usually see. I am afraid he usually has no patience for our work, the study of words, especially the more playful ways they can be used. Why, he has even claimed they, and we, give him migraines, if you can believe! 

"He must be far more in sympathy with us and our studies than he chooses to let on, for him to send us to you, fellow enthusiasts. Though, why he did not give us a heads-up, as I believe the phrase is known, I don't know. Why, we might have gone the entire time without knowing you were brethren, so to speak!

"Now, that last one, Mr. Casino. Where did you find that one? I've never heard it before!

"What, you made it up yourself??! Oh, my, yes - indeed I DID like it, most assuredly! From your own experiences? Oh, how delightful! Those are simply the most valuable and rare, you know??!

"Professor Moss, get your notebook, if you would be so kind. We simply MUST get these written down, the new ones!"

"Now, Mr. Casino, if you could repeat that while Professor Moss writes !"

And so it was an incredulous Sergeant Major Gil Rawlins listened at the door to -

"A dashing young officer went  
Across the Channel - his intent?  
A 'walk in the park',  
Just 'for a lark',  
Pity that's not how it went."

Still, that's what HQ had said,  
'Simple as turning over in bed'.  
With bullets and bombs,  
No lack of aplomb -  
HQ's damned thick in the head!"

The resulting laughter and the following enthusiastic trading of more limericks and puns and other things that made his brain fairly itch was more than Sergeant Major Rawlins could take. Shaking his head, he went down to tell the Lieutenant about the odd meeting of the minds going on in the Library. That he could match several of those inventions with past missions? That made him absolutely shudder, and lord knows what HQ would make of the whole matter!

And it was an equally-incredulous Craig Garrison who received the overwhelming thanks of Dr. Kerrington and his group for allowing them the interaction with his men during their stay, along with a plea that they be allowed to repeat it during the group's NEXT meeting in six months time. 

That was followed shortly thereafter by the equally-overwhelming thanks of Colonel Armstrong for his 'patience and forebearance and remarkable show of fortitude'. And Armstrong's fervent plea that Garrison and his men would indeed allow Kerrington and his group to hold their next meeting wherever the lieutenant and his team might be in six month's time - "for while I do not wish to be rude to my brother-in-law, I must admit the presence of he and his associates puts rather a strain on my nerves and my marriage. Considering how well you managed things, and how highly he speaks of you and your men, I now realize all I have heard about your unusual abilities have been only vast understatements!"

In fact, that semi-annual meeting DID happen at the Mansion, and later, after the war, at the Pub, with the O'Donnell brothers and others joining in, to the general enjoyment, hilarity and amusement of all involved.

As for Meghada? SHE made it a point to go visit her parents or one of her sisters during that time. Some things - well, some things were just too much to ask, even for the guys, especially a two week cram course in puns, limericks and all related subjects.

Limericks referred to in the story:

'The Limerick's an art form complex,  
Its context runs mainly to sex.  
The good ones I've seen  
So seldom are clean -  
And the clean ones so seldom are funny.'  
\---From 'The Lure of the Limerick'

A version to adapt to the laws of the prim and proper, not to the laws of poetry, since NOT having the last word in the last line rhyme with the last word in the first TWO lines got around the occasional prohibition of limericks.

There once was two cats from Kilkenny  
Each thought there was one cat too many.  
So they fought and they fit,  
They scratched and they bit.  
Til instead of two cats, there weren't any.  
\---One version of an old limerick, origin unknown

There once was a lady named Mabel  
So ready, so willing, so able,  
And so full of spice  
She could name her own price.  
Now Mabel's all wrapped up in sable.

There was a young lady named Rood,  
Who was such an absolute prude  
That she pulled down the blind  
When changing her mind  
Lest a curious eye should intrude.  
\---Both from 'Lots of Limericks' - Louis Untermeyer

A certain young man of great gumption,  
'Mongst cannibals had the presumption  
To go -- but alack!  
He never came back.  
They say 'twas a case of consumption.  
\---From 'Laughable Limericks', compiled by Sara and John E Brewton

Note: Thanks to 'M' for her suggestion of limericks as a theme. And to the movie 'Ball of Fire', from which came the inspiration for Dr. Kerrington and his colleagues. And to my muse, who has such a fondness for Garrison and the guys.

**Author's Note:**

> References - stories: 'Silk Sheets and Caviar Are Only The Beginning' (Goniff's 'masterpiece' on the Common Room ceiling); 'All That Reading Can't Be Good For You' (Major Richards' forced 'vacation' and the books loaned to him from the Mansion); 'Sometimes It's Complicated' (Casino and 'Bambi and Her Barnyard Friends'); 'Night Visitors' (for the story of Garrison's encounter with the Ballantine twins)
> 
> My thanks to 'M' for the suggestion of limericks as an alternate theme, and for pointing out the ever-so-apt limerick 'The Limerick's An Art Form, Complex' and its source.


End file.
